I do believe my horse and I have had a breakthrough in communication today.
A friend advised when it all feels overwhelming and anxiety has taken control–do something that makes me feel proud. Ahhh the wisdom spewed from the mouths of babes. The youth of today can have the emotional intelligence that is a much-needed breath of fresh air.
I’m learning to notice when he’s asking me a question. I’m starting to notice when he’s holding the anxiety in and stuffing it all to do a thing so maybe I’ll leave him alone or give him some food.
When he’s getting pushy and testing my resolve, I’m starting to feel it before it gets out of control. Today, we had a little conversation.
Walking with him through the pasture, he gave me his undivided attention with a little bit of testing. As we’re walking, I shared with him that I’m having a difficult time and I need him to work with me so we can start going places together.
He looked at me. I mean, he really looked at me. I told him that I understand that I’m learning and sometimes I can be confusing. I thanked him for being patient and forgiving but now it’s time to level up.
Almost as if he was acknowledging me, he walked with me to the arena. As I sent him, he turned his head toward me and rounded out his body. I asked him to speed up and he began a beautiful trot with his head toward me.
I could feel him sensing me and with every movement of pressure, he moved his body to match me. Sending him the other direction, believing that maybe it was a fluke, he turned his head to look at me and as he entered a trot again, he curved his body around me.
For the first time ever, it felt like we belonged together. He did have a momentary tantrum when I sent him to run. I calmly walked in support of him and asked him if he was done yet. He started cantering towards me with his body collected and his feet moving beautifully.
He turned his head toward me again and curved himself around me. Then, I tied him to the wall of rumination to let him reflect on our time together.
At first, he pawed at the ground impatiently and began to chew on the boards. We went back to work for about 5 minutes. I was prepared to do this for the next several hours. I tied him back up to the wall and he stood there. He just stood there for about a half-hour for the first time ever.
For those two hours, my headache receded and the buzzing quieted. The symptoms have all returned but it’s nowhere near what it was yesterday and this morning. Indeed. Magic happens with horses if we’re listening to understand and willing to be honest.