Why Do We Lie to Ourselves in Everything We Do? Are you lying to yourself and others?

While perusing my LinkedIn profile feed, several business professionals have been sharing articles and posts about the business demand for emotional intelligence. A professor once responded to my Business Analysis question of, “How do you feel about this project,” with the retort that they do not like feeling questions. I believe that the questions we ask our customers and stakeholders regarding how they feel about certain facets of a project are vital to project success.

Business is about the goods and services we offer. Why is our solution a benefit to their goal? Why are feeling questions a struggle for us when feelings are vital to project success? How will we understand the pain points of our customers if we do not understand how they feel and why they are experiencing that reaction?

According to the Executive Education University of Florida’s (UF) article, “Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace: What It Is and Why it Matters,” Bisk Education conveys several valid points of consideration. A manager recently responded to my questions about certain groups demanding a person to pick a side for a political stance that is creating a conflict with their theological beliefs and unless they pick a side then they are culpable contributors to the problem. How does this attitude impact us in workforce teams? Our impulses to force people to pick a side to decide whether that person is with us or against us does a disservice to what that person needs based on their identity. This solidifies the UF instruction that the lack of emotional intelligence generates negative results through insensitivity, arrogance, rigidity, and selfishness that can result in workforce community volatility.

The manager advised that the global market customer is most businesses target audience. In order to tap into those groups, we have to understand what they need and why this requirement is vital to them.  During another discussion, I quoted Dr. Cortney Warren’s TEDx speech, “I was terrified of being left. My fear of abandonment led me to acting ways that are still hard for me to admit.” (1:27) Is it possible that many of us have the secret fear of employer abandonment? Abandonment comes in many forms and the experience can be traumatizing.

While we utter our verbal and written prose about creating customer experiences with the services and goods that we are offering, are we listening to understand? Furthermore, are we listening to ourselves to understand that we may be lacking in the honesty that must be explored in order to be genuine with our customers to offer value to their goals? I agree with Brisk’s sentiment that a sound career strategy starts with a level of emotional intelligence that promotes quality communication. Quality communication involves a balance of transmitting and receiving signals that involve acknowledgments of what we think we heard. This can serve to help businesses rise above rigidity and inflexibility tendencies that contribute to the debatable percentages of management expectations for an approximate 71% project failure rate.

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